With a metaphor only my deranged mind could conjure, I thought about the different layers of people and the sad fact that we can never really experience who a person is until we see all their layers together at one time. Have you ever been able to really 'see' someone like that? Have you ever let anyone see all of your layers at once? Not just the happy blue layer and logical green layer, but that dark purple layer of painful experiences. That red layer of anger and resentment. That yellow layer of imagination and dreams you hold so close. Even the chocolate layer of deceipt and guilt you pretend isn't there. We all know it's not all unicorns and rainbows out inside of us. People like train wrecks. It's a proven fact. Just watch Cops.
How can we really invite others to know us if we give them a taste of just the first two or three layers? Tobias might only have four fears (for those of you who fail to get that reference - READ DIVERGENT. Seriously. Stop reading this and go buy Divergent.), but I have hundreds and they are all tangled up in the seventh layer that makes up ME. I've listed out my seven layers - some of which everyone sees, others that can only be glimpsed through my poems and writings, and even fewer still that I keep under lock and key in the depths of my darkest layer.
1. Confetti Cake
Confident, smiling, and witty - this layer masks any other layers that become unruly at any given moment; my 'social' personality.
2. Chocolate Cake
Empathetic and self-sacrificing - this layer puts others first and will listen for hours just to make the people around it happy. Not many people notice it all the time because it's always there - they usually only notice when it's absent.
3. Red Velvet Cake
Idealistic and imaginative - this layer believes anything is possible and that everything should be possible. It buys into the fairytales and feeds on the promise of love and magic. It craves time completely alone and seperate from everyone else.
4. Spice Cake
Curious and Intellectual - this layer soaks up history, literature, legend, and mystery. It wants to read everything ever written. It wants to write what has never been written. It wants to travel to the places it's read about and recreate it's own reality over and over.
5. Fruit Cake
Quirky, creative, and spontaneous - this layer has to be reigned in daily in an attempt to appear somewhat sane to the rest of the world. It could spend all day lost in a myriad of paintings, music, free thought, and contemplation. It retains a holistic rejection of all things 'normal'.
6. Angel's Food Cake
Innocent, vulnerable, and childish - this layer remains untouched and untainted by the cruelty of life. It hides in the corners of my heart; reveling in the safety of secrecy and security of the other layers lying on top.
7. Devil's Food Cake
Dark, sexy, and evil - this layer harbors the scars of past experiences and the dark pockets of empowerment that fuel me from within. My fears are converted into strength and my suffering buffered by years of self healing. This is who I am at my core. It's not pretty, but it's real.
How many layers do you have? What are they? Have you ever let anyone in your life see them ALL?
PS - Bill Cosby has nothing to do with this post, I just thought this was HILARIOUS. Guess where I found it?