Tuesday, May 14, 2013

The Seven-Layered Cake of KDay


If you know me at all, you know I heart/love/crave/obsess over anything containing that sweet delectable, powdery substance we like to call sugar. Throw in some chocolate, peanut butter, strawberries, or cream cheese icing and I'll give up my first born for a single bite.  I saw something on Pinterest (if I had a dollar for everytime I said that I'd make Channing Tatum very happy) that consisted of a seven layered cake - each layer a different flavor and color than the last and topped off with that sinfully delicious cream cheese icing I can't resist. 

My first thought was "Mmm...cake."  My second thought was "Mmm...cake." After fighting my way out of a cake induced hypnosis (don't judge - it happens), my third thought was one of a profound epiphany - the kind that makes me grin because only my brain would see a piece of cake and equate it to the multiple layers of my heart and soul.  I thought about how difficult it would be to grab of piece of each layer with just one swipe of the fork.  You'd have to chip away at the top layers in order to make your way down to the pink and purple center.  Or have a really long fork. Either way, taking a single bite of all seven flavors would take a high level of skill.  So how on earth could you REALLY experience the cake if you can't enjoy all the different layers it has to offer at once?

With a metaphor only my deranged mind could conjure, I thought about the different layers of people and the sad fact that we can never really experience who a person is until we see all their layers together at one time.  Have you ever been able to really 'see' someone like that? Have you ever let anyone see all of your layers at once?  Not just the happy blue layer and logical green layer, but that dark purple layer of painful experiences.  That red layer of anger and resentment. That yellow layer of imagination and dreams you hold so close. Even the chocolate layer of deceipt and guilt you pretend isn't there.  We all know it's not all unicorns and rainbows out inside of us.  People like train wrecks.  It's a proven fact. Just watch Cops.

How can we really invite others to know us if we give them a taste of just the first two or three layers?  Tobias might only have four fears (for those of you who fail to get that reference - READ DIVERGENT. Seriously. Stop reading this and go buy Divergent.), but I have hundreds and they are all tangled up in the seventh layer that makes up ME.  I've listed out my seven layers - some of which everyone sees, others that can only be glimpsed through my poems and writings, and even fewer still that I keep under lock and key in the depths of my darkest layer.

1. Confetti Cake
Confident, smiling, and witty - this layer masks any other layers that become unruly at any given moment; my 'social' personality.
2. Chocolate Cake
Empathetic and self-sacrificing - this layer puts others first and will listen for hours just to make the people around it happy.  Not many people notice it all the time because it's always there - they usually only notice when it's absent.
3. Red Velvet Cake
Idealistic and imaginative - this layer believes anything is possible and that everything should be possible. It buys into the fairytales and feeds on the promise of love and magic.  It craves time completely alone and seperate from everyone else.
4. Spice Cake
Curious and Intellectual - this layer soaks up history, literature, legend, and mystery. It wants to read everything ever written.  It wants to write what has never been written. It wants to travel to the places it's read about and recreate it's own reality over and over.
5. Fruit Cake
Quirky, creative, and spontaneous - this layer has to be reigned in daily in an attempt to appear somewhat sane to the rest of the world.  It could spend all day lost in a myriad of paintings, music, free thought, and contemplation. It retains a holistic rejection of all things 'normal'.
6. Angel's Food Cake
Innocent, vulnerable, and childish - this layer remains untouched and untainted by the cruelty of life. It hides in the corners of my heart; reveling in the safety of secrecy and security of the other layers lying on top.
7. Devil's Food Cake
Dark, sexy, and evil - this layer harbors the scars of past experiences and the dark pockets of empowerment that fuel me from within.  My fears are converted into strength and my suffering buffered by years of self healing.  This is who I am at my core.  It's not pretty, but it's real.

How many layers do you have?  What are they?  Have you ever let anyone in your life see them ALL?

PS - Bill Cosby has nothing to do with this post, I just thought this was HILARIOUS.  Guess where I found it?